Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:
Almost a year ago, my mom got my sister a cat for Chirstmas and for some reason the cat kinda just bonded to me. She doesn’t go to anyone else in the house to be petted or even listen to them, but she will listen to me and come to me while I am watching TV or on my Kindle and just start purring and wanting me to pet her. She generally only trusts me to get her food. I love cats and tend to act like a cat, just kinda doing my own thing, and she’s bonded with me so much she won’t even leave my room when I’m not home. I don’t mind it, I’m just hoping for insight about this.
~ Joseph
Siouxsie: Well, Joseph, we cats have our own ideas about who our people are. I’m sure your mother thought she was getting that cat for your sister, but once she met you, she decided you were hers!
Thomas: It sounds like you’re just that cat’s kind of person. I personally am glad I adopted Mama because she’s also quiet and easygoing, and she likes to read and do other things that make for good lap time.
Bella: Maybe your sister’s more outgoing or high-energy? Or maybe your sister had another cat in mind and when this cat came along she didn’t strike your sister’s fancy? Who knows?
Siouxsie: A long time ago, Mama had an experience a lot like yours, Joseph. Her mama brought a cat home, mostly because that cat wasn’t getting along where she was.
Thomas: Mama’s mama (our grammie) is a soft-hearted person and probably the main reason why Mama loves cats so much. Hi, Grammie!
Bella: Anyway, as soon as Grammie let that cat out of the carrier, she ran under the couch and wouldn’t come out when anyone was in the living room.
Siouxsie: But one day, Mama coaxed that cat out with some stinky canned cat food, and from that day forward, Mama was the only person she would be around. The cat snuggled with Mama in bed, sat next to her when she was reading, and only left Mama’s room when it was time to eat or use the litter box.
Thomas: I decided Mama was my human the minute I met her. She came to visit me in the shelter and I was so sick I could barely breathe. I was in the isolation room and I was so lonely! But then Mama came along and I felt like my long, lonely days were over! I was still really sick and I had a pretty rough go of it there for a while, but once I was better, she came to take me home.
Bella: And, of course, I also decided Mama was mine when I first met her. I was really sad when she left the shelter that day, but she promised me she was going to come back — and she did!
Siouxsie: I kind of grudgingly accepted Mama at first. I only came along because my sister Sinéad ran out of the carrier and curled up on her lap without even checking for danger. Somebody had to protect that foolish little cat! *sniffle*
Thomas: Ultimately, Joseph, the reasons why cats bond to specific people more than others has a lot to do with the kind of energy they put out. Most cats tend to prefer quieter people because we ourselves are pretty quiet creatures.
Bella: But some cats are really outgoing and love to be in homes full of action and energy. It really depends on the cat.
Siouxsie: It’s kind of like why you become friends with some people and not others: sometimes it’s shared interests, sometimes it’s similar lifestyles, and sometimes it’s just because a person may just rub you the wrong way for no obvious reason.
Thomas: We cats are choosy about our friends, and it sounds like your cat made a very good choice with you!
Bella: What about you other readers? Have you found a cat that wasn’t meant to be “yours” bonding with you rather than the person for whom the cat was intended? Do you have any ideas about why? Please share your thoughts in the comments!
JaneA Kelley is a punk rock cat mom and award-winning blogger. She is a regular columnist for Catster Magazine, and she and the Paws and Effect Gang share a home in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.
This happened with my tortie, Lottie. My mother in law adopted her after we lost two of our kitties. (Luna was my husband’s cat & Mr. Boots was my cat.) Although my mother in law told my husband Lottie was his cat, she bonded with me. She’s more of a mellow feline who wants to be her own cat without restrictions. My husband likes to snuggle Lottie (which she will take but hates). She has such a sweet & interesting personality. I always feel bad when she comes to sleep with me or lay in my lap but in the end we both love her bunches!
My best friend adopted a little tuxedo, He let me play with him, but he would sit in her lap and just gaze into her eyes adoringly. His name was McCartney and became ill very quickly. She laid on the floor with him his last day and his final movement was to try to get up and get even closer to her. He will be ecstatic when she arrives at the Rainbow Bridge.
Well, I wouldn’t say we’ve made a deep bond, but my sister’s cat Maddie was rescued from an abusive situation. As a result, my sister is Maddie’s adored guardian angel, and all other people are secondary. However, Maddie slowly came to trust me over the course of some months, and now likes spending time in my presence. It helps that I tend to be quiet and not make a lot of sudden movements.
I hate it when people say cats are so moody and how are plotting to kill you all the time. Nobody realizes when they such things I am doing the same too. People bond on similar interests and more people need to realize this.
Just a correction, People and cats.
My step-mom ‘s cat has chosen me as her mama. My step-mom isn’t too happy but it’s not like you can tell a cat who they belong to, cuz really, we’re the ones that belong to them if they deign to adopt us!
I recently lost someone very special to me. On that day, a male kitten showed up at my door. He will only come to those of us that were here during that time, and he will only sleep around and love on me. He chose me during a time I needed him most.
About a year ago, we were looking for a pet and found a litter of kittens for sale from a family a couple towns away. The mother cat, I believe, was a stray the family took care of, as the kittens did not seem comfortable with people. I picked the runt of the litter, a very nervous little thing who got scared around others, especially people with high energy, which is most of the people in the house. I’m a lot more mellow, though, and I gave her space when it comes to petting and holding her so she naturally seemed most at ease around me.
After a few months, we got her fixed and after the operation, she was super lethargic and sore. I stuck by her side pretty consistently over the next few days while she recovered. Now I’m definitely the one person she really trusts. She follows me around the house, and only likes to sleep in my room, or in a room I’m in. When I sleep, she hops up to the corner of the bed beside me, and saunters right on over to my arm to be pet each morning as I wake up.
She’s like my little baby lol.
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I got a very beautiful but thin grey female kitten (8mos) from a family member and while this cat was my entire families protector and acted like she was a dog more than a cat, she was pregnant. I immediately got vet care and some great kitten chow (blue buffalo) and she had her kittens just fine and much to my dismay shortly after her three Lil ones were 8 weeks n off to great homes she got outdoors and got herself nocked up again :(. So I vowed to finish this litter and then fix her and ANY females in the litter.
She had 6 adorable kittens, one solid black I immediately wanted for my own….knowing momma I knew I could fix her but she loved being outdoors and wanted an indoor ONLY kitty. Well she had five others, brown n black tabby, black n white, 2 grey tabbies, and Marbles a marbled grey tabby….whom decided from only a week old I was his. Well I wanted the solid black first born runt so in all efforts tried to gift him to my hubby or son or daughter. Marbles wasn’t having it. The solid black female Onyxia wasn’t loving me but my son n occasionally the hubby. But the marbled boy (Marbles) was jumping, pawing, n clawing through the littermates at 4 weeks on to get me to pick him up n carry him with me…..he was huge, largest kitten in litter and only after me….lol
I ended up loving his Lil antics n tiny purr for such a huge kitty. Called him Marbles n he will look at me n cry if others try to snuggle him or hold/pet him….he chose me n although he’s soooo handsome n everyone loves him n tries to win him over any way they can, I’m “his” human :) I’ll have it no other way, ever. I think I love this kitty more than my own life, he’s just soooo loyal to me….so odd like a dog attitude, but soooo laid back….n I’m not, so opposites attract :)!!!!
Thanks everyone else for wonderful stories too :)
Scout, the tabby in my picture, and I had a inseperable bond. If cancer hadn’t taken his life early this year we would still be as close as ever.
My tortie just watches other people, but they can’t pet her. When I got her…it took three months for her to venture from the finished basement to the first floor. I would sleep down there every other night, and she would watch me (from a distance). Once she came upstairs, she was (and is) like Velcro. She’s six years old now, and I love her dearly.
I’ve never met a cat who doesn’t like me lots once they’ve become familiar with me, and some really like me from the first time we meet. I never pressure them but let them approach at their pace but soon all are won over.
I have no problem with my cat (I have now) or any past kitties loving other people. It’s not like I feel snubbed and unloved if they want to show affection to other people too. In fact, it makes me happy that my cat feels so safe and secure that she’s willing to love others. She’s indoor only so I don’t worry about her going to someone who might harm her either (being a black cat). No matter what, she still thinks I’m her mama.