Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:
I have two male cats. They are brothers but from different litters and this started when they were younger (well on my male cat’s part anyway). My male cat is always trying to “hump” my sister’s male cat. I thought it was because he wasn’t getting to go outside as much as he wanted and so I allowed him to stay out as long as he wanted and hoped that it would help but he does even more so now. I mean he is literally (or so it seems) trying to mate with the male cat. I know that having him fixed might help a little bit but I can’t afford that right now and so my biggest question is, how can I stop my male cat from trying to mate with the other male cat? It’s getting a little ridiculous and annoying. I love my cat and I don’t want to get rid of him! Help me please.
~ Tracy
Siouxsie: Well, Tracy, your cat is most likely mounting your sister’s cat because he’s frustrated.
Thomas: He’s sexually mature, and he can smell the female kitties in heat in your neighborhood, but he has no way of getting to them.
Dahlia: So he displaces this sexual frustration onto your sister’s cat in the form of sexualized aggression.
Siouxsie: We’re not surprised the behavior escalated after he got to go outside, because at that point he not only smelled the ladies waiting to experience his manly charms, but he probably had some run-ins with neighborhood tomcats too.
Thomas: We’re willing to bet that your cat has started spraying, too. That’s how male cats leave love notes for the ladies and threats of grievous bodily harm for other toms.
Dahlia: And if he’s started spraying, we’ll also bet that other cats have been spraying in your yard, too.
Siouxsie: This aromatic invasion has almost certainly made your cat feel as though his territory is under attack.
Thomas: The territorial stress also helps to increase your cat’s need for aggression, and your sister’s poor kitty just happens to be in the line of fire.
Dahlia: We hate to break it to you, Tracy, but the only way you’re going to be able to put a stop to this behavior is by having your cat neutered.
Siouxsie: There are low-cost spay/neuter clinics just about everywhere in the US and Canada, and in Europe and many other places in the world, too, so there’s really no excuse not to have your cat fixed. Some states even offer voucher programs for low-income individuals to have their pets spayed or neutered for free.
Thomas: Contact your nearest animal shelter or humane society to see what programs are available in your area.
Dahlia: There are a couple of websites that offer searchable databases for low-cost spay/neuter clinics in your state. Some states don’t have complete listings (Maine doesn’t; we checked), which is why we recommend you call your local shelter first. But it’s a place to start.
Siouxsie: Here’s the ASPCA’s low-cost spay/neuter clinic database …
Thomas: NeuterSpay.org provides a searchable database of low-cost or free spay/neuter resources for pets and feral cats in the United States. They also have listings for Canada and Europe.
Dahlia: While your cat is getting the snip, so to speak, check by your doors and windows (inside and outside) and around your yard with a black light to find spots where male cats have sprayed. Then clean those spots with products designed to remove urine odors and stains. We recommend Anti-Icky-Poo if you’re in the market for a pre-made product. A solution of white vinegar and water (mixed 50/50) can also do the job.
Siouxsie: We’d also recommend that you use Feliway Comfort Zone spray and diffusers in your home in order to reduce your resident cats’ stress level. Feliway is a synthetic version of “happy cat” pheromones, and we’ve found it very effective in reducing aggression and urine marking.
Thomas: You can shop around to see if you can get a better price on the Feliway, but from what we’ve seen, the prices at the linked site are well within the norm.
Dahlia: Good luck, Tracy — and get that cat fixed!
JaneA Kelley is a punk rock cat mom and award-winning blogger. She is a regular columnist for Catster Magazine, and she and the Paws and Effect Gang share a home in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.
i get in a program that only cost 10.00 to get my cat fixed the best thing i ever did for my kitty!!!few other things a shot and chipped cost me a total of 50.00!!!get hold humane society in your area and they will be able to help u=you with low income programs!!!
I’ve had neutered toms show the same behavior toward each other and even seem to compete with each other on mounting my spayed female cat to the point that they caused her to get a UTI (had to lock them away from her.) Is it stress causing this behavior? Would the Feliway Comfort Zone work for this kind of situation, as well?
Most state animal shelters have very inexpensive spay/neuter clinics. It’s a must – for your animal’s comfort and yours. Like other posters said above, he is going to start spraying – in fact, I’d bet he has already. Take it from someone who went through this – it’s so much LESS expensive and kinder to pay for the neutering than it is to have to tear up carpeting. Cats will spray over and over in their favorite spots. We tried Feliway, Nature’s Miracle, all the “cures” that the pet stores push. It didn’t work. You don’t want to wait too long to get your cat spayed/neutered. Some of them get into the habit of spraying and continue to do so forever.
I too have neutered toms in my household mounting each other, and chalk it up to their domination wars… Discouraging it helps, though it’s impossible to supervise them 24/7. All the cats in my household are spayed, or neutered. That alone curbs most of the aggression.
We just have our one rescue kitten, who is now a little over a year. Anything that is soft or fluffy, my sweaters, a blanket, a pillow, he will act like he’s caressing it, loud purring, & then trying to mount it.
i play with him, give him lots of loving attention, so don’t know why he does this. he is an indoor cat, & neutered. When i do take him out, he’s harnessed with a long leash to he has the run of our yard..
He has no reason to be frustrated, unless it’s because he wants to go outside without a leash. Can you give me some insight on this behavior Please..?
Normally your answers are wonderful, but I can’t help but feel like this answer is incomplete. I also (like others who commented) have a long-neutered male cat who mounts his brother. There’s got to be more to this behavior than simply an un-neutered state and you don’t address any of the other possibilities. This is not to suggest you are wrong! Of course in the case of the letter-writer, the male being un-neutered is likely the number one factor in his mounting. I just feel like you usually cover all the possibilities when you answer a question and this week I didn’t see that.
Hi Sleepy Kitty! Thank you for your comment. It’s true that we didn’t cover everything — and it’s true that, as you said, we feel the non-neutered state is the primary factor. We probably should have included a link to another column we wrote about cats mounting each other, in which the dominance aspect is more thoroughly discussed.
Although this column is primarily about urinary tract issues, it does contain information about working out the dominance behavior that causes male cats to mount other cats: https://www.paws-and-effect.com/2008/11/09/what-can-i-do-about-my-cats-ongoing-urinary-tract-problems/
We appreciate all feedback, helpful and critical, so thank you, Sleepy Kitty, for reminding us about information we should have at least linked to in this column. *purrrr*
Please get your cats fixed. The shelters and rescue are full of unwanted kittens that are abandoned, sick, abused and then will be put to death in an unkindly manner. All becaue people don’t get their cats/animals fixed. There is NO excuse. It saves so many lives. Just because it is a male doens’t mean it’s not making babies that will be forced to die. You are putting the “problem” in someone else’s hands to deal with my not fixing your male cat. I know, I’ve seen so many mothers with babies die in the horrible gas chambers because I didn’t have enough money to pull all of them out to save. It takes you $60 to neuter, it takes me $300-$800 to save a mother and kittens.
quit saying fixed!!! its normal!!!!
What the heck do you mean? That it’s normal for cats to die? Sicko!
Spaying and neutering is the ONLY and KINDEST way to even begin tackleing the overpopulation problem with cats and dogs. If one is going to be a pet owner/ caretaker it is an ABSOLUTE MUST! And definitely keep your animal indoors, at least until it is done.
Actually, thank YOU for reply and addressing the issue! I do love your website and I appreciate the extra info.
Neutering is not going to help. I have 3 male brothers, all neutered and they do this all the time. They don’t “hump” as much as mount and dominate. I’m still undecided as to what causes the behavior as the cat that does the mounting is not necessarily the dominate cat.
Of course spay or neuter; it’s just not going to stop this behavior.
Mine are both neutered and over 12 & 15 years old and the 12 yr old is mounting the older one, I can’t get them to stop. the older one won’t defend himself. It drives me nuts! How can you stop them?
Hi, I have a cat that has been outside my house for about nine months and in the last three days. He has been letting me rub him, put him up and put a tick collar on him but he will not stay in the house. I believe that he at some point use to live here and is in fear of this home. How do I make this a safe place of him and by the way he is de-clawed and he is being mounted by a male cat in the area. Please help
I have 5 males all neutered but my 8 yr old tabby seems to always mounts my 1 yr old tabby so we’re going to start spraying them with water
My 1 year old male cat starting crying and trying to mount my 4 year old male cat I put them in separate room as I was worried they would hurt each other Would the older cat turn on the younger one and hurt him the older cat is a rather timid boy
These cats are only displaying their displeasure to your split-attention. They are acting out displaced male dominance. This is especially common among fixed cats that have never been sexual. this is their way of saying I am jealous that this cat is trying to get the affection I deserve, so Im going to show him who is boss