Dear Most Esteemed and Knowledgeable Kitties:
I am having a major existential crisis! Help! Why is it considered okay by “society” to have like 16 dogs sniffing your butt, but if you have two (or, God forbid, more!) cats, you’re “crazy” — or worse? Whatta friggin’ double standard!
“Crazy” and proud of it,
~ Katrina and kitty-baby Julietta
Siouxsie: I know. It’s totally unfair!
Thomas: Mama’s had people ask her how many cats she “has,” and when she says “three,” she sometimes gets these weird looks and then people say, “Wow, that’s a lot!”
Bella: If Mama said she had three human children, people would be all like, “awww, how sweet!”
Siouxsie: If she had three dogs, they’d probably be complimenting her on her love for canine-kind.
Thomas: But when it comes to having three cats, it’s like they think she’s a “crazy cat lady” or something.
Bella: Mama doesn’t like the phrase “crazy cat lady,” either, even when it’s used in a “reclaiming” way like some LGBT people use the phrase “queer” and some African-Americans use the “N word.”
Siouxsie: Not that we’re equating being cat lovers with being a person who is oppressed because of something they’re born with like a skin color or a gender identity, mind you!
Thomas: Mama wrote this piece for Catster when World’s Best Cat Litter came out with its “I’m A Crazy Cat Lady” campaign, precisely because the stereotype is so tiring.
Bella: One of the comments on this post read, “I have a problem with the term ‘crazy cat lady’ too. I think it’s a pejorative term because it’s used to shame unmarried or unattached women (i.e., if you live alone with your cats, something must be wrong with you). And then we get to the use of the word ‘crazy’ and how it shouldn’t be okay to bash mental illness (real or perceived) and yeah, the term is not a winner.”
Siouxsie: And then there’s that whole “you’re just using your cats as a second-rate substitute for having children” thing.
Thomas: Men get hosed with the cat stereotype, too, as if “real men” can’t love and live with cats.
Bella: Besides, what’s a “real man,” anyway? If you know you’re a man, you’re a man, no matter whether you fit the stereotype of masculinity!
Siouxsie: It’s just a shame that in some parts of the world, people get such disrespect for being cat lovers. And I don’t get why more than two cats is somehow a sign that something’s wrong with you.
Bella: So I say, go ahead and love your cats, however many you have!
Thomas: As long as you’re able to take good care of your cats — feed them well, get them regular preventive vet care and treat their illnesses as needed, provide them the space and stimulation they need, and give them love with your full heart — who cares how many you have?
Siouxsie: The reason Mama stopped at three (beyond the fact that it’s hard enough to rent an apartment with three cats, let alone more) is that she knows that financially she wouldn’t be able to afford to take good care of more than three cats.
Thomas: So we say, go ahead and love your cats, and just scrape some used cat litter over the haters!
Bella: There are plenty of people in the world who will support you and who will know you’re not “crazy” for having multiple cats.
Siouxsie: What about the rest of you? What do you think of the term “crazy cat lady?” Have you been called a crazy cat lady? How have you responded to the weird looks and outright disrespect?
Thomas: Please share your thoughts and your stories so all you cat-loving humans can know you have a community of supporters bigger than the pool of uninformed haters!
JaneA Kelley is a punk rock cat mom and award-winning blogger. She is a regular columnist for Catster Magazine, and she and the Paws and Effect Gang share a home in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.
Mom almost hates it when people ask how many cats she has. Plus then there is the whole: house cats, feral cat, fosters issue. But she HATES the crazy cat lady term. It has so many negative connotations. Why does the number of cats have anything to do with how ANY person lives their lives?
From what my human and I have seen, the only SANE people are ones that have cats!
I also agree the only sane people are the ones that have cats. It is no ones business how many cats a person has.
I have one husband and 4 cats. And I love each one of them!
I’m the one who says crazy cat lady. And I take it as a mantle of pride.
My mom doesn’t approve of me treating my cats as humans too. She told me a few weeks ago that she is weirded out that I talk to my cats often LOL I explained that pets could understand too and she just laughed at me. I don’t care. I am just happy that I have a very good and loving pet who always keeps me company.
I would love to be a crazy cat lady, but, unfortunately, my cat doesn’t get on with other cats at all. :-/
Technically, I have Then, add the mom and her first 2 kids – they mostly live outside, so that’s 9. Then there are 2 ‘floaters’ that just come for food and a nap!!!
So…that makes 11, usually.
And, with all that, I’ve never been to a shelter to adopt – everybody just finds me!!
Some days I FEEL like the crazy cat lady! And my house has been cheekily referred to as ‘the cat house’. But, within all the chaos that reins when ‘the boys decide to break landspeed records at 2am, or Mommy Callie shreiks because somebody’s looking at her again, I can remember….
They’re here because I want them to be.
It’s no one’s business how I spend my money.
And, most importantly:
Beyond anything else, my cats — each and every one of them (and that’s a lot) have given more love, joy and heartfelt laughter than any human that has ever come into my house. And that’s the only thing that really matters.
I’ve heard so many of these things before! Try getting a date when you tell a man you have multiple cats…lol. The thing with cats, like Pringles, you can’t have just one. It’s so hard! And strays somehow know you’re a cat lady, so what do you do! My dream is to open up cat sanctuaries across the country. Also, making apartment complexes and neighborhoods with a cat population more cat friendly. Maybe, those places should only be inhabited by crazy cat people?? Hmmm….
What I find distasteful is when I tell someone I have cats and I love cats and they I hate cats. Well, that’s their problem and I really don’t like to hear it. I was once told that the only good cat is a dead cat. I was shocked that someone would be so heartless to say this to a person who loves cats. They all like dogs, but I would never say something like that about sweet dogs. So we love our cats and consider them our furry children. So what, it is our live after all.
My family (6 people in the household) has 7 cats and 2 dogs. We very often get looks and wows and “omg you guys are crazy”s when we tell people that. But the crazy cat lady phrase never bothered us. We turn it around on people. We’re a crazy cat family and proud of it!
I live in an “old folks home” in Washington. I have one sweet rescue cat in my little one-room apartment. She is the sweetest little girl I could ever hope for! If I had room, I would have three because I just looove cats! People here always ask “how is your kittie?” They really care. June Marie is a strictly indoor domestic shorthair and I suspect she was once abused, for she does not like men but loves women. I suspect most animal a a abusers are men and boys. In any case, June Marie has a forever home now. If I pass away first, my daughter has sworn to care for her. Love your cats no matter how many you have, You can never have too many cats!
I love my cats and work with a feral (mostly peoples throw away domestic cats) colony and have 4 of my own. My daughter has
6. We are not crazy just love our animals. There are people I have known who hoard cats, let them procreate in the house and
actually have discovered dead kittens in a closet from a year or more past. Their clothes smell and they wear cat pins and tee-shirts. I helped one lady and took all her females and fixed them and she called me a “fanatic”. Is she a “crazy cat lady” yes. But take the “cat” out and that’s what she really is. Many people who are depressed or mentally abused in their lives turn to animals for comfort. It’s not always good for the animal. I love my cats but I love other things, too. Sometimes at work co=workers will come up to me and I know they want to talk to me about their cat or something like that. I tell them I am available for other topics as well. Dogs, I think, are more accepted (especially by men) so you don’t hear the term “crazy dog person”, a lot. Personally, I don’t know what I’d do without my cats. They are a part of my family. And no, I am not crazy,
I only have two cats, have only ever had two cats and people going around saying I’ve had four, pulling random numbers out of their butts and calling me crazy cat lady simply because I have two cats and am single. I only got these cats in the last two years so what was I before????